I wonder
Randomness strikes....
sometimes i wonder why i am so random ...... Suddenly some thoughts will just cross my mind...and it would just be gone in seconds...
I was wondering...Who I am actually..I don't even know myself since like ...let's say...forever ? I don't even know my passion anymore , my personality...or whatever there is in between those stuff...Honestly , i detest my Socohl ( words are jumbled up ) a lot.....My social life is a mess ( at socohl ) that is....Honestly , i don't really have much friend there ( as if i care ..but part of me does ) and i felt that i just ended up in the wrong scals ( jumbled up again ) for wto ( jumbled up ) years.....I felt that me and my scals peoples...just does not sync.....we are so different...as in ...i just find them annoying at times...especially ..... maybe because i'm the only iglesn ( jumbled up ) one in the " group " ( but as if i care ) ...i just do not like to jump into a relationship so fast....( why should i ) i prefer to take 1 step at a time....well... that's another story.....i felt really really lonely in my scals.....some of the people there are fine....in a way...I thank GOD that she changed our places and i just make new friends there ( as in .....know existing friends better ) .....The person infront makes me happy and the person beside her are just funny with my deskmates + another person who sit 4 tables infront and 2 tables to the right .....
I didn't mix with _____nagg anymore...as in....they left me out unknowingly.....i used to care about that a lot....but now i just prefer it that way....Actually...after that , i can concentrate in studies better....during exams i will just be the one alone there with books....and they were there talking....( i prefer to be in solitude during exams ..... )
Not only that....i think my own nagg also crumbled....as in me....wto left me out unknowingly as well....it's like the person prefers to do everything with _ and _ without me...Honestly...i just don't know why i didn't feel sad or angry or anything.....maybe i'm just toooo numb and expressionless to know these kind of stuff....I admit that i can be evil at times ( i told _ before that i don't mind losing someone as a eindfr because ehs doesn't treat me like a eindfr as well....
That speonr also doesn't treat me like a ifrnde as well.....when i reach to holcso early , that speonr also do even say hi or anything....that speonr treats me like i'm invisible....and hello...
only find me when oyu are bored and lonely huh......
I just dont really like most of the eoplpe in my holsco.....they are just so akfe to the max...all wants recognition / popularity or whatever in between....it's just filled with dramas all around....i just felt that urchhc is the best place ....and i'm the most natural and comfortable there
Even @ onitiu i also face somewhat the same problem ( onitiu ngag )..but not so bad....maybe because they are in the same slcas in holcso ....but that's just nothing compared to the one i faced in holsco....
a lot of people says that they will miss hocslo when they leave this compound...me ? I just can't wait to leave this compound even though i know that the would outside will be bigger , wider and perhaps....more conniving and evil....
I have more iendfrs outside compared to in hocslo....but that's a good thing as my life as a ihgh hocslo is going to end in another wfe omer hmnots !!!
But ironically , my nva ngag is the best !!! i love them all ! i always had fun on the way home everyday =D
But...i just couldn't blame all....
Maybe my own attitude and bizarre personality is another problem....Maybe i'm too un-emotional....too-selfish at times....too carried away at times.....too ego at times....too talkative at times...too honest at times....
i just don't really know how to comfort people...don't really know how to express my feelings to my friends....don't know how to talk like other friends....don't know how to ugh.....i even lost track of what i wanna say now....
and thank GOD that he gave me a really tough attitude .... and i have a bizarre thing about me is that... i don't get angry easily..,...i don't get sad easily... i don't cry easily....i get over anger really fast....( 5 seconds for serious cases ... ),,but well...I do get jealous easily :(
but i'm still unclear about myself.....i don't even know myself.....really.....
i hate my weight because some people think that i'm anorexic and i don't eat...but that's false !!
i do eat okay !!! and not all thin people are anorexic....we just have high metabolism or that's in our genes ......
i think i cared too much about what people say and perceived about me.....i wonder why i care so much about that....it's crazy....
now it's getting pointless and haha xD i don't even know what i'm saying now...
now you know how weird i am xD
and i think a lot of people are gonna bash me up ( maybe ) after this....
but hey....this is my blog.... i have my freedom of speech =D
so...who cares.....
because i don't =p
sometimes i wonder why i am so random ...... Suddenly some thoughts will just cross my mind...and it would just be gone in seconds...
I was wondering...Who I am actually..I don't even know myself since like ...let's say...forever ? I don't even know my passion anymore , my personality...or whatever there is in between those stuff...Honestly , i detest my Socohl ( words are jumbled up ) a lot.....My social life is a mess ( at socohl ) that is....Honestly , i don't really have much friend there ( as if i care ..but part of me does ) and i felt that i just ended up in the wrong scals ( jumbled up again ) for wto ( jumbled up ) years.....I felt that me and my scals peoples...just does not sync.....we are so different...as in ...i just find them annoying at times...especially ..... maybe because i'm the only iglesn ( jumbled up ) one in the " group " ( but as if i care ) ...i just do not like to jump into a relationship so fast....( why should i ) i prefer to take 1 step at a time....well... that's another story.....i felt really really lonely in my scals.....some of the people there are fine....in a way...I thank GOD that she changed our places and i just make new friends there ( as in .....know existing friends better ) .....The person infront makes me happy and the person beside her are just funny with my deskmates + another person who sit 4 tables infront and 2 tables to the right .....
I didn't mix with _____nagg anymore...as in....they left me out unknowingly.....i used to care about that a lot....but now i just prefer it that way....Actually...after that , i can concentrate in studies better....during exams i will just be the one alone there with books....and they were there talking....( i prefer to be in solitude during exams ..... )
Not only that....i think my own nagg also crumbled....as in me....wto left me out unknowingly as well....it's like the person prefers to do everything with _ and _ without me...Honestly...i just don't know why i didn't feel sad or angry or anything.....maybe i'm just toooo numb and expressionless to know these kind of stuff....I admit that i can be evil at times ( i told _ before that i don't mind losing someone as a eindfr because ehs doesn't treat me like a eindfr as well....
That speonr also doesn't treat me like a ifrnde as well.....when i reach to holcso early , that speonr also do even say hi or anything....that speonr treats me like i'm invisible....and hello...
only find me when oyu are bored and lonely huh......
I just dont really like most of the eoplpe in my holsco.....they are just so akfe to the max...all wants recognition / popularity or whatever in between....it's just filled with dramas all around....i just felt that urchhc is the best place ....and i'm the most natural and comfortable there
Even @ onitiu i also face somewhat the same problem ( onitiu ngag )..but not so bad....maybe because they are in the same slcas in holcso ....but that's just nothing compared to the one i faced in holsco....
a lot of people says that they will miss hocslo when they leave this compound...me ? I just can't wait to leave this compound even though i know that the would outside will be bigger , wider and perhaps....more conniving and evil....
I have more iendfrs outside compared to in hocslo....but that's a good thing as my life as a ihgh hocslo is going to end in another wfe omer hmnots !!!
But ironically , my nva ngag is the best !!! i love them all ! i always had fun on the way home everyday =D
But...i just couldn't blame all....
Maybe my own attitude and bizarre personality is another problem....Maybe i'm too un-emotional....too-selfish at times....too carried away at times.....too ego at times....too talkative at times...too honest at times....
i just don't really know how to comfort people...don't really know how to express my feelings to my friends....don't know how to talk like other friends....don't know how to ugh.....i even lost track of what i wanna say now....
and thank GOD that he gave me a really tough attitude .... and i have a bizarre thing about me is that... i don't get angry easily..,...i don't get sad easily... i don't cry easily....i get over anger really fast....( 5 seconds for serious cases ... ),,but well...I do get jealous easily :(
but i'm still unclear about myself.....i don't even know myself.....really.....
i hate my weight because some people think that i'm anorexic and i don't eat...but that's false !!
i do eat okay !!! and not all thin people are anorexic....we just have high metabolism or that's in our genes ......
i think i cared too much about what people say and perceived about me.....i wonder why i care so much about that....it's crazy....
now it's getting pointless and haha xD i don't even know what i'm saying now...
now you know how weird i am xD
and i think a lot of people are gonna bash me up ( maybe ) after this....
but hey....this is my blog.... i have my freedom of speech =D
so...who cares.....
because i don't =p
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