Anorexic sufferers sees themselves as super a super fat person when they see their reflection on the mirror...
Me ? Don't know " what " sufferer , sees myself as a super skinny person when I look at myself at the mirror.....
I keep perceiving myself as being super skinny and super bony ugly...
Last time , people kept telling me to eat more like , " You are so SKINNY !! your mum didn't feed you ? " , " you should eat more so that you become prettier "
but some friends in college kept telling me that I'm not that skinny as I thought.... and they said that i'm Thin not skinny...
and some people from other place say that I have good body ( erm i know a lot of you are coughing BLOOD now xD )
but damn...i'm only 40 kg :(
and you think it's GOOD ?
I so freaking hate it...
it sucks being skinny....
people always think you are anorexic...
when you eat less...they say that you SHOULD EAT MORE
when they see you , they tell you to GAIN WEIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO SKINNY
When you eat slower , they THINK THAT YOU SHOULD EAT FASTER
when you are afraid of eating , they THINK THAT YOU ARE CONTROLLING YOUR WEIGHT..( WHICH IS SO WRONG ! I LOVE FOOD )
when you are stressed and lose little weight because of that people will say like " OMGOSH...YOU GOT THINNER !! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ??? " like you have some some disease or something
to be honest ...I rarely enjoy eating...because since young...people are always judging what I eat , how much should I eat...when I take small bowl of rice they will say " OMGOSH...YOU EAT SO LITTLE " that's why you are so skinny !!!! when you EAT A LOT they will say " OMGOSH....I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU EAT SO MUCH AND YOU ARE STILL SO SKINNY !!!! "
* ERM....the last sentence , skinny and thin is diff....if they say " you eat so much and you are still so thin...acceptable...but SKINNY...erm...okay...
slowly , eating have become a psychological stress for me...When I look at a plate , I always tell myself...I MUST FINISH THIS WHOLE PLATE IN ORDER TO GAIN WEIGHT !!!! and thus ....it's like a burden more than an enjoyment...
Now , thank God i'm slowly healing from this nightmare i've been suffering from one month...My mother told me that this is caused by the years of me telling myself that food = FAT that's why I NEED TO CONSUME MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE to gain more weight...
seriously....it's always the lump in the throat feeling when it comes to eating....and I always feel anxious , stressed and nauseatic when I see food.... IT'S THAT PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS...
many people think that mental problem is just MENTAL problem...but it's more to that...MENTAL disorder is different...
I know 'im a hypochondriac ....and I'm very aware of many things which leaves me vulnerable to psychological stress ....it's agonizing ...and you won't know the pain and agony i've gone through if you didn't try it....
today ....when I managed to finish a whole bowl of wantan mee and rice....it's really a huge accomplishment for me...
I've been overcoming my fear...
and my mum told me " try not to think that you consume food because you want to gain weight...but just eat for the sake of your stomach "
mum experience the same thing and I thank God that i'm not really alone in this :)
super last rant !! ( very direct ) :
I'm TIRED .....of people saying that If I have a boyfriend I will not be comfy to hug coz i'm BONY
I'm TIRED ....of people saying that when I have a husband...he will not like my body because
i'm skinny...and just because i'm skinny they perceived me to have bad body...
( can I kinda laugh ? )
I'm TIRED .....of people saying that I should GAIN WEIGHT to be more beautiful
I'm TIRED......of people blaming my parents saying that I don't get enough food ( hometown people...zzz )
I'm TIRED.......of girls gossiping IN FRONT of me being skinny and comparing my LEGS to their ARMS !!
I'm TIRED.......of...just many things...
this is suffering
Me ? Don't know " what " sufferer , sees myself as a super skinny person when I look at myself at the mirror.....
I keep perceiving myself as being super skinny and super bony ugly...
Last time , people kept telling me to eat more like , " You are so SKINNY !! your mum didn't feed you ? " , " you should eat more so that you become prettier "
but some friends in college kept telling me that I'm not that skinny as I thought.... and they said that i'm Thin not skinny...
and some people from other place say that I have good body ( erm i know a lot of you are coughing BLOOD now xD )
but damn...i'm only 40 kg :(
and you think it's GOOD ?
I so freaking hate it...
it sucks being skinny....
people always think you are anorexic...
when you eat less...they say that you SHOULD EAT MORE
when they see you , they tell you to GAIN WEIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO SKINNY
When you eat slower , they THINK THAT YOU SHOULD EAT FASTER
when you are afraid of eating , they THINK THAT YOU ARE CONTROLLING YOUR WEIGHT..( WHICH IS SO WRONG ! I LOVE FOOD )
when you are stressed and lose little weight because of that people will say like " OMGOSH...YOU GOT THINNER !! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ??? " like you have some some disease or something
to be honest ...I rarely enjoy eating...because since young...people are always judging what I eat , how much should I eat...when I take small bowl of rice they will say " OMGOSH...YOU EAT SO LITTLE " that's why you are so skinny !!!! when you EAT A LOT they will say " OMGOSH....I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU EAT SO MUCH AND YOU ARE STILL SO SKINNY !!!! "
* ERM....the last sentence , skinny and thin is diff....if they say " you eat so much and you are still so thin...acceptable...but SKINNY...erm...okay...
slowly , eating have become a psychological stress for me...When I look at a plate , I always tell myself...I MUST FINISH THIS WHOLE PLATE IN ORDER TO GAIN WEIGHT !!!! and thus ....it's like a burden more than an enjoyment...
Now , thank God i'm slowly healing from this nightmare i've been suffering from one month...My mother told me that this is caused by the years of me telling myself that food = FAT that's why I NEED TO CONSUME MORE AND MORE AND MORE AND MORE to gain more weight...
seriously....it's always the lump in the throat feeling when it comes to eating....and I always feel anxious , stressed and nauseatic when I see food.... IT'S THAT PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS...
many people think that mental problem is just MENTAL problem...but it's more to that...MENTAL disorder is different...
I know 'im a hypochondriac ....and I'm very aware of many things which leaves me vulnerable to psychological stress ....it's agonizing ...and you won't know the pain and agony i've gone through if you didn't try it....
today ....when I managed to finish a whole bowl of wantan mee and rice....it's really a huge accomplishment for me...
I've been overcoming my fear...
and my mum told me " try not to think that you consume food because you want to gain weight...but just eat for the sake of your stomach "
mum experience the same thing and I thank God that i'm not really alone in this :)
super last rant !! ( very direct ) :
I'm TIRED .....of people saying that If I have a boyfriend I will not be comfy to hug coz i'm BONY
I'm TIRED ....of people saying that when I have a husband...he will not like my body because
i'm skinny...and just because i'm skinny they perceived me to have bad body...
( can I kinda laugh ? )
I'm TIRED .....of people saying that I should GAIN WEIGHT to be more beautiful
I'm TIRED......of people blaming my parents saying that I don't get enough food ( hometown people...zzz )
I'm TIRED.......of girls gossiping IN FRONT of me being skinny and comparing my LEGS to their ARMS !!
I'm TIRED.......of...just many things...
this is suffering
Comments
thanks for the advice :D yeah...i'm slowly not caring about people telling me i'm too skinny now :) haha xD yeah !! cooking your own meal is fun =D haha xD true...different men have different taste :) some prefer those on the heavy side , some prefer those on the light side lols xD I really appreciate your advice loads :) yeah , i'm not alone :)