Escape * runs away * !!!!!

Man...life in college now is seriously..super stressful and hectic !
Everyday I go to college , I feel like i'm in a pressure cooker....
when I'm at home..I just feel at ease...

AS is coming..and that's the BIG thing that everyone's stressing about...
the seniors are saying that AS is easy so don't screw your AS coz if you screw you AS , the chance of getting A in A2 is darn unreachable...

Sometimes I just want to leave my hp at home... Leave college...and go somewhere alone...just to chill out...

It's been quite some time since I last met with my high school friends ,dancing friends , OO family , and etc...

Most of them ( if they know me long enough ) would know that Chermaine = ever busy...
yet Last year I was free ( except for year end...I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ENJOY MY HOLIDAY...AND will NEVER GET TO ENJOY MY HOLIDAY AT ALL !! except after A levels perhaps )

but this year it's back to the busy mood again....
So little time and So much to catch up

and I always feel guilty when I can't make time for them...

Economics is already a stumbling block for me
and now Business CHAPTER 5 is not helping me too...too many calculations and the lecturer seems unsure of what she's teaching...i'm getting more confused each day ...

thank God maths is not one of the combination..

if not , I would be dead...

Trials is coming....17 days to be exact....

within that period , I have to cover the whole ELS book ( 18 chapters ) , Economics ( 7 chapters ) , Business ( 5 super long chapters ) and GP...

GP is kinda frustrating because I can't really predict what I will get....it differs from time to time...argh...

Honestly , I don't even know why I'm in A Levels...
I was really enjoying sem 1 ....perhaps I was involved with OO and I wasn't really serious in studying..well...except few days before exams then I study hard..
but sem 2 maybe I just felt that I have to be more serious...coz I wanna get very good results to redeem myself from my ever sucky SPM results...honestly , part of the reason is that I wanna have my confidence back....as least when people ask about what I got for A levels , i can say " 4A's " and they will say " wow " lols...

I don't want the praise of people honestly..
but my cousins are REALLY SMART AND INTELLIGENT !

if I don't score...( i'm lucky i have good relatives )
they won't compare me...
but I will feel embarrassed...

Part of me is asking myself
why i'm here , taking A levels...when I can have an easier way out...
oh wait...
come to think about it..not really..my parents don't really agree with me studying music that time...
and they encouraged me to take up business @ TARC...but i don't like business..and thank God i didn't switch to business in TARC...

despite many self-complains..yet I still don't regret taking A levels..
no doubt.

I've become more confident because I did better here than in high school
I enjoy what I study...
I feel elated when there's a debate =D
and I just feel so much comfortable with languages...because in high school , science stream is always about numbers and scientific equations...

now with words and languages
I feel like they are in my skin...

way more comfortable...

the next decision awaits me...LAW or MUSIC ?

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